5 things you won't hear from your mum (but you should still hear) (8/20)

My experience is that people love lists!
We like things simple and easy.

We would much rather get our info in small bite size chunks rather than cipher through page upon page of material.

And the other thing about lists is people want to see what is in the top ten or what is the number onoe.

So, hear it is.

The list to top all lists:

The top five things you will never hear from your mother (but you should still hear)

5. Not everybody loves you.

Some people out there (for what ever reason) just don't take a shine to you. It may not be that you have done something to them to justify their feelings but they will still feel that way. It may be that they are jealous of you in some way.

This is totally cool.

Nothing you can do about it. However, some of us will do our utmost (females mainly, in my experience) to get that person to like us.

Forget about it.

Don't make their problem yours.

4. Take risks

We touched on risks earlier this week so I won't go into too much detail. However, I can not stress enough the importance of getting out of your comfort zone and doing stuff that really makes your socks pull up by themselves!

Anyone that you see that is at the top of their field didn't get there by sticking to the comfort zone.

If you live your life in the comfort zone sooner or later you will be overtaken by all the people that would not accept comfortable as good enough

Good enough is never good enough!

3. Don't go to uni and it doesn't really matter what grades you get at school.

What is wrong with getting good grades and going to uni?

There is nothing wrong with doing these things in your life, however, the question I want people to dwell on is this:

Do you really need that piece of paper to do the things you REALLY want to do in your life?

Yes, if I want to get a good job.

Ok, but do you really want a job?

Robert Kiyosaki (of Rich Dad, Poor Dad fame) says "Why would you go to uni and get good grades so you can climb the corporate ladder...why not OWN the ladder these guys are trying to climb"

Another perspective comes from American comedian Chris Rock "Here is the difference between RICH and WEALTHY, Shaquille Oneill (famous NBA basketball player) is RICH, but the guy that pays his wage is WEALTHY!"

I am not trying to persuade you either way, just throwing it out there.

2. Don't buy a house , this is NOT the best investment.

Like number three, this may raise a few eyebrows (that is kind of the point).

Again, I am not trying to persuade my readers either way but more so to throw these things out there and at the very least get you to wrap your thoughts around other options (rather than just being a sheep and following the masses)

Remember if you do what everyone else does, you will get what everyone else gets.

And how boring would that be!

Ok, so what's wrong with buying a house?

Nothing, but there are other options.

Lets look at that word 'investment'.

The word investment means (or at least means something along the lines of) a product that puts money IN your pocket.

On the other hand, a liability is something that takes money OUT of your pocket.

These descriptions are obviously very simply put and I am NOT for one minute pretending to be a financial guru by any stretch.

Investment = money IN pocket
Liability = money OUT of pocket.

Ok, So you get yourself a mortgage and then for the next x number of years your are paying that mortgage off (money out of your pocket)

You then have interest on top of that mortgage (money out of your pocket)

There are also rates/body corp to pay (money out of pocket)

And then when it comes time to do some renovations (more money out of pocket)

Investment???

That is obviously not my decision to make for you (always talk to qualified professional when dealing with your finances - not some egotistical 30 year old)

I just thought I would pop that little investment thought bubble in your head (fair chance your mum wouldn't of!)

1. Don't wait for your turn to talk and don't always use your manners.

Now, I am very big on manners. My (almost) six year old is always pulled up if he doesn't use his please's and his thankyou's.

That side of the whole manners thing I am big on.

Where I think we can be a little more flexible is when we are chasing our goals.

Have you heard the saying nice guys finished last?

It is a commonly used saying because it is regularly proven in our every day life.

If you want something in life go out there and get it.

Yes, have ethics and Yes, have integrity but at the same time don't be the guy that everyone pushes to the side because they know that you are accepting of that.

As Billy Joel said after a New York concert "Don't take any shit from anybody"

So there you have it. My list of five top things you will never hear from your mother (but I still think it is beneficial that they are said)

Do you agree with these things?

Yes or no is totally cool.

I would love to know your thoughts on these things (good or bad)

If you would like to share your thoughts just click the comment button below.

Keep intensity high and excuses low

Matt Collins

What about me (7/20)

This great song made famous by Shannon Noll and before him ... ??? (help me out) is the theme song for a lot of people's lives (especially in this country).

"What about me, It isn't fair"

They are constantly on about what they haven't got or what they didn't get.

"Why did Sarah get that raise and I didn't."

"Why is Johnny so lucky, he always seems to get what he wants".

"Look at Lucy, she is so pretty, it is so unfair".

"Look at Matt, he is so handsome, good looking, muscular, smart and humble"!

The funny part of it is, they are probably looking at some component of your life and thinking the same envious thoughts.

Having the mindset that other people are in some way superior to you really restricts your growth as a person.

Do you think Tiger Woods sets up at the driving range before a big tournament and says "oh my god, look at Greg Norman over there, he is such a great driver of the ball, why can't I be like that"?

No, I would suggest Tiger does not have those thoughts because he is the greatest golfer to ever walk this planet.

I know that, you know that and guess who else knows that?

Tiger knows that.

(What a cool name by the way) Tiger!

Tiger knows he is the best in the world and his mindset/thoughts/actions portray this.

He is a winner, whether he wins the tournament or not.

It all stems back to our thoughts and our mindset.

And the choices we make.

No one else can make a choice for us.

It is one of the true things we can really call our own.

Our choices are ours and ours only.

To quote a friend of mine, Craig Harper, he says "you have the choice to choose the chicken salad or the double whopper with cheese. You have that choice. You choose whether to get upset and cry about the suggestions I am making or you can make some positive changes to your life. You have that choice"

So, how you feel about someone else and about what they get in life compared to what you get is entirely your choice.

You can choose to get upset and continue to dwell on why (you think) they are better than you (option 1)

Or you can choose to be happy for them and all their successes in life knowing that you also have a lot of major positives in your life (option 2)

(Option 2 is the right answer if you are playing at home.)

You choose the feelings you are having.

You choose whether to be happy, sad, excited or depressed.

Events, weather, finances, work, boss, partner, kids, dog, etc don't determine how you feel.

Only you can choose this.

Keep intensity high and excuses low

Matt Collins

Mum doesn't want me on a motorbike (6/20)

My five year old son was extremely excited when I told him that I was thinking of purchasing a motorbike.

However, he made the mistake of telling his nana (my mum).

Although it was funny to hear a 50+ woman and a 5 year old getting into a verbal battle over whether I would buy a motor bike or not!

Ever since the 'great debate' was had, mum constantly reminds me that she doesn't want to see me on a motorbike and that I would be a lot 'safer' if I didn't get one.

Mum is more than qualified to make these statements as my father came off his bike several times during his 'riding days'.

In fact, when they got married dad had both arms and one leg in plaster (true story!)

Not that riding a motorbike was the eventual demise for my dad (we can blame his lifestyle choices of excessive alcohol, smoking and a sedentary lifestyle for that).

I don't tell you this for the sympathy but more in the hope that it helps someone else make some positive changes for their (and their families) health.

Let's talk about the whole 'staying safe' thing.

Mum doesn't want me on a motorbike because it is unsafe.

Ok, fair enough.

But what about the 'adventurous, risk-taking, out of the comfort zone' part of my life that needs to be regularly fed (as does everyone's).

What ever happened to taking risks.

Risks are good.

We have to take risks in our life to be able to grow as a person.

Do you think the first guy to challenge the belief that the world was flat (Ferdinand Magellan) was taking a risk?

Yep.

Do you think his mum told him that she didn't want him to go?

Yep.

But he did it anyway.

And thankfully he did. He made that HUGE dicovery that has sinced changed the world and the way in which every person views it.

He took the risk and not only did he grow as a person but so did the whole planet. (Just for the record, Magellan died before the journey was complete, but you know where I'm coming from)

You haven't got to look far to see other people that took huge risks and the world benefitted from it:

The first men to walk on the moon.

risk, but great reward.

The first black lady to take a front seat on the bus normally occupied by whites only (Rosa Parks).

risk, but great reward.

The first person to realise they could drink what comes out of the cows udder.

risk, but great reward?

For every great risk, there is great reward.

A terrific story of risk comes from Sir Richard Branson.

It was a time in the Virgin life when the Virgin airline was getting a lot of unfair negative press (mostly derived from other airlines) saying that Virgin was going under and they couldn't afford to repay loans or pay for airplane fuel, etc.

The Virgin airline was in trouble.

In the same week, the Rolling Stones (only the greatest rock and roll band EVER - bar none, in case you were wondering) were looking for new producers.

Richard Branson decided it was too big an opportunity to miss and he bought the Stones for a lazy $100 MILLION.

Imagine that.

Let's put it in to perspective.

Let's say you have just been told your boss is cutting back and needs to 'downsize'.

Your name is thrown in the ring as a potential employee to be chopped.

At that point you then go out and buy a second house.

Big risk!

Sure, it was a risk for Branson. But with it came a great reward.

I believe sometimes we get so hung up on the risks of doing things that we forget just how enjoyable the reward will be.

Let's do some comparisons:

Risk of flying vs the reward of seeing some of the most incredible countries and places this planet has to offer.

Risk of losing money by setting up a new business vs the reward of a flourishing business that allows you to reinvest in other ventures.

Risk of getting burned in a relationship vs the reward of finding someone you are truly happy spending time with.

I really believe there isn't too many cases where the reward doesn't far out way the potential risk.



So mum, whether I decide to get on a motorbike or not is yet to be decided. But I want you to know that if I do, I am aware of your concern (as any good mother would be) and I hope that after reading this (if you read it) you will understand why I have made that choice in my life.
Let me know about the risks you are going to (or have) taken.

Keep intensity high and excuses low

Matt Collins

Courage is being rooly, rooly scared and jumping in anyway!

Do you run from the scary situations in your life or do you confront them head on?

Fight or flight?

The great thing about jumping in the deep end of certain situations in your life is at some point they will no longer be scary, because it will just be what you do.

Remember back to when you first started learning to drive a car.

You are in the driver's seat for the first time and the driving instructor is explaining to you how it all works.

You are completely out of your depth and you have no idea how you are ever going to have the freedom of driving by yourself, because it is just so hard!

You even contemplate just getting your automatic license because you have now stalled the learner car seventeen times (just in your street)!

But you soldier on, and after fifteen lessons and two failed attempts (or is that just me?), you finally get your very own drivers license!

Looking back now, ten, twenty, thirty (or more) years on you can laugh at just how hard it was to do something that now you don't even think about.

In fact, sometimes you can go for a drive, get to your destination and think to yourself:

"How did I get here"?

"Did I really just drive here"?

"I can't remember driving here"!

Something that was once impossible, is now just a daily thing you do (sometimes, without even thinking!)

Here's my personal example of jumping in the deep end:

When I first met Shannan (Biggest Loser Trainer) at the airport I was nervous as hell!

I had sweaty palms, I was stuttering and I was over-analysing every little aspect of the day ahead.

Even when we were in the car on the drive back to the PCYC I was still very jittery and perplexed.

Not that I ever showed it!

A regular James Bond!

It wasn't until about an hour and a half into the day that I had started to calm down a little, begun to relax and focus on what my role/s were for the big day.

By the third hour into the Shannan day I was probably 90% comfortable (still a little star-struck, but pretty cool, calm and collected)

Just my usual self.

Not.

Fast forward to the end of the day when I was sitting around the table with Shannan and all the hard working team from the day. 
We were all sharing laughs, stories and a nice, cold (well deserved) beer.

At this point, I was genuinely comfortable with the situation and everything around me.

Moral of ths story is, for every scary, daunting, seemingly impossible task it will always become a pretty mediocre task the more you confront it.

This is how you grow as a person, confronting difficult situations and conquering them.
No matter how hard and no matter how many people tell you that it can't be done

And there will always be plenty of those people.

Sometimes, those closest to you are the worst culprits.

Do you think if you swam with sharks every day of your life your body would express the same fearful emotions as someone standing on the edge of the tank waiting to meet the 'great whites' for the first time?

Probably not.

Therefore the more you introduce yourself to these scary situations, the less scary they become.

I would love to know what scary situation you are going to make a not so scary situation in your life.

Hit the comment button below.

Keep intensity high and excuses low

Matt Collins

Throw the scales out the window (4/20)

Today, I want to draw your thoughts to the humble set of scales.

Or, to be more specific I have renamed them to the "this can't be right's" cause that what everyone says when they get on.

Jumping on the scales is a very emotional thing for a lot of people, in fact I am sure just by reading this some people are conjouring up negative thoughts in their mind.

But why is standing on a stationary machine such a bad experience?

Does it move about and make you feel queezy?

Nope.

Does it have a built in voice box that says stuff when you stand on it.

Nope.

Does it send through electric shocks if you go over a certain weight?

Wrong again.

So what does the scales do that is so bad?

What does it do that causes millions of people across the globe to run in the other direction screaming "get that thing away from me" when they set eyes on it?

I have come to the conclusion that the scales isn't the one that has the problem, rather we are.

Let me throw this situation at you:

You realise you are carrying excess body fat and you approach the local fitness centre to make some changes.

The personal trainer tells you to exercise 6 times a week and switch to a calorie controlled food plan.

You immediately get stuck into it.

You train the house down, working your butt off (literally) and eating perfectly.

Every time you get dressed in the morning your clothes are falling off you, you are feeling better than ever and you have had to move your belt hole in 3 times!

People don't recognise you in the street because you look so much better.

Every where you go you have a spring in your step!

The trainer contacts you and says it is time for your monthly weigh in.

At this point, do you think your thoughts would be of dread and despair of yet another negative experience on the scales?

Or, would it be a feeling of achievement, a feeling of all that hard work paying off!  Would it be that you couldn't wait until that monthly weigh in so you can jump on the scales and share a high five with your trainer!

Scales aren't so bad after all.

My thoughts are when  you jump on the scales you already have a fair indication in your head of just how good (or bad) the numbers are going to be.

A set of scales is not like the Las Vegas roulette table, you can't jump on the scales, cross your fingers and hope that the number is just going to (magically) be 5 less than when you jumped on a month ago.

I couldn't tell you how much I weigh because it has been so long since I was on a set.

What I can tell you, is that training regularly and eating well (most of the time) is the key to LONG TERM health and fitness.

Not just for a couple of weeks (or until your holiday to Spain) but for the rest of your life!

If you stick to these two rules, you have the answer!

And if you stick to these two rules, I really don't know what use you would have for a set of scales?

Because it wouldn't matter what your weight, you would just stick to the two rules, right?

I would love your thoughts.

Hit the comment button below.

Keep intensty high and excuses low

Matt Collins

commitment (3/20)

Minimal actions gives minimal results.

Here's my thoughts (and agree or disagree, that's totally cool. I would love to hear your response)

Somebody comes to a gym to purchase a 3 month membership.

The sales team at the counter explain that this is actually the most expensive option (per week) and that a long term commitment like 12  months is the way to go financially (/week). Plus it shows that you are ready to rip in! and see some big improvements.

The customer suggests that they just want to "see how they go" and they stick with the three months option.

From my experience, the people that purchase a three month membership do so for one (or more) of a number of reasons:

• Cheapest option
• Fear of the unknown
• Doing what their friends did
• Only in town for 3 months
• Want to make sure they like that particular gym before making a longer commitment

However, the majority of 3 month membership customers make the purchase because they just want to "see how they go"

Let's look at that phrase "see how I go"

What does "see how I go" mean?

I don't think I will stick to a gym program because I haven't had a lot of success sticking to gym programs in the past.

Maybe this time I will stick to it and really make some changes.

Maybe?

Why is it maybe?

The choice is yours baby!

There isn't some magical fairy that decides whether you stick to a gym program or not.

I wonder if a heart surgeon goes in to do an operation and starts with "ok, let's see how we go today" Maybe it'll work out and maybe it won't"

I suggest not.

Now, are your workouts as important as someone receiving a heart transplate, I'll let you answer that one.

My suggestion is that those people are going about it all wrong.

There has to be some sort of a plan in your head as to how your health and fitness routine is going to go.

It is no surprise that people doing personal training come to the gym more regularly, because their trainer has set up a regular plan for how often they should be coming in and what they should be doing when they come in.

I am not pushing personal training products, rather pushing the fact that having a plan around how your gym membership is going to fit into your busy schedule with all the stressors that you have in your life is going to put you in a lot better position.

Can I make this suggestion, when you think you are ready to get stuck into some sort of fitness activity, ask yourself this question...

Am I ready to change some stuff in my life and I am willing to accept that change in my life?

Somebody might purchase a membership but not really be ready to change other things in their life they have already to commited to.

For example, if a smoker wants to stop smoking but they are not ready to change the friends they hang around (because the friends all still smoke) they will probably not last long as a non smoker.

Let's look at it another way:

If I see someone in the street that has stopped coming to the gym they may tell me their reasons (excuses) for stopping:

• Just didn't have the time
• I couldn't fit it in around work
• Lost the motivation
• got too busy with the kids

So, why wasn't there some sort of plan to combat these things?

Especially if you have done the gym thing before , because you would know what you are like and therefore you could combat these excuses before they arise and before they become your downfall.

So have a plan of attack!

Make a commitment, not just to the gym, but to yourself!

I know for a lot of you I am talking to the converted. If this is the case maybe you know someone who needs to hear it?

In any case I look forward to your thoughts and your response.

Just click the comment button below.

Keep intensity high and excuses low.

Matt Collins

Poor me (2/20)

Hi team,

Do you know someone who is more than happy to take the gratitude for a job well done, but if things don't go so well it was always some one else's fault?

I think we all know someone like this.

I believe the true character of a person is not revealed when we are going good but rather when things aren't going so swimmingly.

Life is easy when you've got a good job, money, nice house, well-behaving kids, great partner, good friends - things are great! - Of course you are a great person when all these things are happening.

A regular Nelson Mandela.

But, who do you turn into when all these things aren't in such a fine state?

When you have a bad day at work (or lose your job completely), lose a great deal of money in a so called "sure thing" investment, kids go back to normal and misbehave, partner is up you about one hundred different things and all your friends have gone to Bali without you!

Who do you become then?

Because this is the true test of who you are as a person.

There seems to be at least one person like this in everyone's life.

No matter what time of the day, week, month, year, decade - they are always having a bad time.

(I see a familiar face in town) I say "How are you going"?

They say "Oh yeah, could be better"

I say "Oh, that's no good" (and secretly I think to myself, please don't tell me the 400 reasons why you are having a bad day)

They say "yeh, my cat died, my wife is a pain, my knee hurts, my boss is on my back" (I think, here they go, as I nod and offer regular signs of concern...genuine signs of course)

So, now, not only are they having a less than perfect day but I have dropped a couple of positive cogs also,

Thanks for that!

Let me add, it is not that I don't care about these people. I care greatly about all people that exist in my world and I love to hear about them and their world. What I don't care to hear about is all the excuses they use to justify not giving 100% to a little thing called their life!

This life is not the warm up, you won't be back for a second audition (I don't think)

Make the most of what you have now.

Keep intensity high and excuses low

Matt Collins

Never too late.

Retirement age in Australia is approx 60.

So if you started working at 20, by the age of 40 you are only half way through your working life.

Only half way!

Funny, the majority of people I talk to tell me that at the age of 40 they are too old to start any new venture/job or try anything they dreamed of doing as a child.

"I missed my chance"

But the reality is at age 40 you are only just getting started!

I believe the reason we get into this mindset of 'I'm too old' is because at that 'middle age' part of our life we have commited to bank loans/car loans/mortgages/kids/investments/etc and therefore we are 'locked in' to the current job we have because it is too risky to start something new and potentially not be as financially stable as we are in our current position.

So how do we work around this small problem?

First thing I would suggest is don't adopt the mindset of 'all or nothing'.

Don't go up to your boss tomorrow and tell him to stick his job! This does nothing for your long term future (however, it would probably feel bloody good)

If you are not happy in your current position, rather than quit immediately, make sure you have something to fall back on before you pull the pin.

For example, if you are interested in photography but you are stuck in a 9-5 office job, why not start an after hours photography course at tafe, online or by correspondence.

Or volunteer in a business that is related to your industry of passion.

As long as you are making the baby steps to a better life!

Remember, the only way to eat an elephant...one bite at a time!

Keep intensity high and excuses low.

Matt Collins

Get off the comfort couch

First off, I have added a photo of the greatest personal training team on the Sunshine Coast and some random guy that just thought he would jump in the shot!

Seriously, the Shannan day (Shannan Ponton - the trainer from the Biggest Loser) was a HUGE event and I need to thank each and every person that took time out of their busy schedules to listen to the man speak for an hour plus, plus.

Another big hats off to the fatburners team and Sgt Marty Hunt + PCYC team for all their energy and enthusiasm.

This event would not have happened without you guys.

A final well done to all the people that took part in the fitness session with Shannan.

We had to bring in the emergency flood team due to the amount of sweat that was expelled!

A lot of valuable info was passed on during Shannan's talk but the one thing that shined through for me was that we all must get out of our comfort zones.

We tend to like it in the little comfort bubble we call life.

But our comfort zone doesn't allow us to expand, grow and generally rise to the next level.

So what do you need to do to get off your 'life lounge' or 'comfort couch'?

I want to hear from you. What do you need to do to grow as a person?

Hit reply and tell me what you are going to do to get out of your comfort zone.

Here's mine...

I will write at least one entry on this site every working day for the next 4 weeks.

Whether it is worthy of your readership or not is another question.

So, starting this Monday 21 September 2009 I will commit to this site for the next month.

The long term goal is to make this a daily thing...

time will tell.

Let's see how I go sticking to the first month initially.

So, here's to my 'out of the comfort zone' journey. It'd be great to have you come for the ride.

Leave a comment and tell me what you're going to do.

Keep intensity high and excuses low.

Matt Collins